Lets give this a go

So I am big into journaling, but rarely do I share my written musings with others. For those of you that don't know I am currently in Greensboro, NC at GUPY (Greensboro Urban Project). Marshall, the leader, is big into blogging and talks about it often. I am not sure how often I will update this, journaling take a lot of thought and energy for me and it usually is incomprehensible to those that are not me, which means it is not all that helpful. But I have become more interested in sharing my thoughts in a more widespread form as of late so hopefully this will help me develop my communication skills. I don't intend to have a topic of discussion other than my thoughts, hence the generic name.

So here I am. I am a large white man living for 6 weeks in Glenwood, a mostly African-American and Latino neighborhood. I stand out. I am here on an Urban Project, a fancy name for a mission trip. I spent a week with middle school and high school aged kids taking them to Atlanta and learning about Hip-Hop culture along with them, we are talking the re stuff not what is on the radio. I have gone to 2 large black churches and one good size white church the in the last 3 Sundays. I am interning with Lutheran Family Services, a diverse refugee relocation agency. I have tried to have conversations with refugees that speak little English. Heck I have given up my summer to do this rather than make $5,000+ in an engineering internship. I will likely be recognized by the church I go to when I get home. But what is the point? People look at me and the others doing GUPY and applaud our efforts, yet do nothing. Some support us financially, and I am so grateful for that. But I dunno, it doesn't seem like much. I hang out with these kids, and they are awesome, but when I am done i retreat to my room and my PC, or go to dinner at a place like Uno's, where I would never think to change before eating there unless I was covered in dirt, that would be a HUGE deal to these kids. I feed the homeless then return to my A/C and cold sodas.

I feel like I am putting myself out during the day, but once back from my internship with LFS I sit at home hanging out with the rest of the GUPYs (what they call people doing GUPY). Why do we get attention at a church 2 blocks from Glenwood for living here? Why do we get attention for giving up our summers to serve God and learn more about him? Why is that not commonplace in the Church? Why do I feel like I still not doing all I could, when as I listed above I am doing so much more than others?

I don't want people to recognize me for doing stuff. I don't want people to clap at my list of actions or accomplishments. I want to love God and love those around me as he does. I want people to desire that as well. Is it really that rare for people to live out their identity as God's child that those of us that do or start to get claps and recognition? I would love for the Church to wake up. Maybe that is part of why I am drawn to doing staff with InterVarsity. College students seem to be hungry for the adventure that being a child of God is. And if they can learn to live that out through college, maybe the Church will start to change. Will begin to do what it should have been doing since day one.

Please don't take the list earlier as bragging, as I am writing this I feel like I am not doing enough. That I am retreating to my white middle-class bubble at night. That list is almost comical to me, because I am sure someone would read that and be impressed, but I don't see how I could do anything less.

Since writing this we had a Bible study where others kinda brought up some of what I was trying to convey. I hope this post shows the discontentment I have right now. Hopefully as the weeks go on I will be able to develop this discontentment into action, both for me and for the Virginia Tech chapter of IV.