If you have known me for a while, I am the king of over thinking and worrying. A good friend once told me that she felt that if there was something I wanted to do (either for myself or God) that I would think about the pros and cons of the thing for so long that I would lose my desire to do it or inhibit myself from being able to take any joy in it (I'm paraphrasing a bit). So I am well acquainted with worrying. This is something I have been working on. There is grace for a reason, not to be abused, but to free us from shame and worry so we can move beyond our mistakes and sins to the work God has set before us.
It is so easy when a big decision is upon us. We have this idea that one choice is right and will lead us to the work God has before us and the other will lead to discontentment and being separated from God. I am not saying there are not sinful choices that can lead to discontentment but so often we are choosing between two good options or trying to discern between good and better. Proverbs 20:24 says "A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?" (NIV) We are reminded (and I think promised, yes it's a good thing!) that our lives are not our own, we were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20). God has a plan for our lives and if we are abiding in him and seeking his purposes he will be using us and guiding us.
I am NOT saying choose things without prayer and careful consideration. We are told to live for God not ourselves, we are also told to keep the interests of others in mind. We have to discern between good and bad. What I am talking about is having the boldness to pray, think, then act. If we find ourselves in a good vs. good or good vs. better debate we need to pray, seek counsel of those God has put in our lives, then trust that God will use us where we are and move us if necessary. Then take the step of faith that our choice is his.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV, emphasis mine)
God never intended us to think and worry ourselves to a place where we are paralyzed by fear of how best to serve him. How absurd is that?? We are so scared of how to best serve God we stop or don't start.
God wants our hearts; our works as will his leading will follow that. He is at work and we have the privilege of being part of that work.
Shouldn't get out there and live it?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I've Got Too Much Time on my Hands?
"...its ticking away with my sanity"
So as some of you know, I have an awesome schedule. My time in class is spread out well, and I have work (Senior Design, and some homework). And I have been excited. This frees me to spend time with some of the people on my hall, the Small Group Leaders, the guys I disciple, and other brothers and sisters. But as I have been hanging out with people, and some times doing nothing I have discovered something interesting. I have lost some boldness, and feel like a burden. It was small at first, trying to make sure people were comfortable and knew they could move meetings if needed, which is good in a way. Then one day it became painfully obvious. I was meeting with a guy who I have been trying to meet with for a while, we kept having something come up. And then at the end of having a good conversation we were getting ready to leave and I said "Hey hopefully we can hang out sometime when you are less stressed." He responded saying that yes he had a lot on his plate but he was fine. And a few others related similar feelings. So then I realized I felt like a burden on the people I was hanging out with. I had time, it was not a huge sacrifice to spend time with them. I am used to having to sacrifice (and joyfully sacrifice) time and other things to spend time with people. So I think that gave me some confidence that I was meeting my friends on an equal place. That we were both sacrificing to meet with each other. I lost confidence in being able to speak into peoples lives or challenge them.
I was kinda upset about that, I mean that is like the one thing I still am passionate about, and I couldn't do it.
I don't have a specific scripture that helped me through this. But I kinda wanted to share this because I think it is an easy trap to fall into. Thinking that because your sacrifice might seem inconsequential to you that it must not be important to them. The other error is assuming that the other person is making a huge sacrifice to their time and not happy to be with you. God blesses us with time and many other gifts. We need to be joyful in using them for him and the good of his people. God doesn't want us to take the gifts he gives us and let the enemy make us feel guilty for having them. There are times for a healthy dose of conviction, but there is a difference between wanting to give more of what God has given you and beating yourself up/ loosing your confidence because of those gifts.
God delights in us, he delights in the things we do for him and others with a joyful heart. That is where our confidence comes from not from a battle of the biggest sacrifice.
So as some of you know, I have an awesome schedule. My time in class is spread out well, and I have work (Senior Design, and some homework). And I have been excited. This frees me to spend time with some of the people on my hall, the Small Group Leaders, the guys I disciple, and other brothers and sisters. But as I have been hanging out with people, and some times doing nothing I have discovered something interesting. I have lost some boldness, and feel like a burden. It was small at first, trying to make sure people were comfortable and knew they could move meetings if needed, which is good in a way. Then one day it became painfully obvious. I was meeting with a guy who I have been trying to meet with for a while, we kept having something come up. And then at the end of having a good conversation we were getting ready to leave and I said "Hey hopefully we can hang out sometime when you are less stressed." He responded saying that yes he had a lot on his plate but he was fine. And a few others related similar feelings. So then I realized I felt like a burden on the people I was hanging out with. I had time, it was not a huge sacrifice to spend time with them. I am used to having to sacrifice (and joyfully sacrifice) time and other things to spend time with people. So I think that gave me some confidence that I was meeting my friends on an equal place. That we were both sacrificing to meet with each other. I lost confidence in being able to speak into peoples lives or challenge them.
I was kinda upset about that, I mean that is like the one thing I still am passionate about, and I couldn't do it.
I don't have a specific scripture that helped me through this. But I kinda wanted to share this because I think it is an easy trap to fall into. Thinking that because your sacrifice might seem inconsequential to you that it must not be important to them. The other error is assuming that the other person is making a huge sacrifice to their time and not happy to be with you. God blesses us with time and many other gifts. We need to be joyful in using them for him and the good of his people. God doesn't want us to take the gifts he gives us and let the enemy make us feel guilty for having them. There are times for a healthy dose of conviction, but there is a difference between wanting to give more of what God has given you and beating yourself up/ loosing your confidence because of those gifts.
God delights in us, he delights in the things we do for him and others with a joyful heart. That is where our confidence comes from not from a battle of the biggest sacrifice.
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