I've Got Too Much Time on my Hands?

"...its ticking away with my sanity"

So as some of you know, I have an awesome schedule. My time in class is spread out well, and I have work (Senior Design, and some homework). And I have been excited. This frees me to spend time with some of the people on my hall, the Small Group Leaders, the guys I disciple, and other brothers and sisters. But as I have been hanging out with people, and some times doing nothing I have discovered something interesting. I have lost some boldness, and feel like a burden. It was small at first, trying to make sure people were comfortable and knew they could move meetings if needed, which is good in a way. Then one day it became painfully obvious. I was meeting with a guy who I have been trying to meet with for a while, we kept having something come up. And then at the end of having a good conversation we were getting ready to leave and I said "Hey hopefully we can hang out sometime when you are less stressed." He responded saying that yes he had a lot on his plate but he was fine. And a few others related similar feelings. So then I realized I felt like a burden on the people I was hanging out with. I had time, it was not a huge sacrifice to spend time with them. I am used to having to sacrifice (and joyfully sacrifice) time and other things to spend time with people. So I think that gave me some confidence that I was meeting my friends on an equal place. That we were both sacrificing to meet with each other. I lost confidence in being able to speak into peoples lives or challenge them.

I was kinda upset about that, I mean that is like the one thing I still am passionate about, and I couldn't do it.

I don't have a specific scripture that helped me through this. But I kinda wanted to share this because I think it is an easy trap to fall into. Thinking that because your sacrifice might seem inconsequential to you that it must not be important to them. The other error is assuming that the other person is making a huge sacrifice to their time and not happy to be with you. God blesses us with time and many other gifts. We need to be joyful in using them for him and the good of his people. God doesn't want us to take the gifts he gives us and let the enemy make us feel guilty for having them. There are times for a healthy dose of conviction, but there is a difference between wanting to give more of what God has given you and beating yourself up/ loosing your confidence because of those gifts.

God delights in us, he delights in the things we do for him and others with a joyful heart. That is where our confidence comes from not from a battle of the biggest sacrifice.