AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So I may have written this before but I need to write it again.

I have a limit, I have mental disciplines that help reduce my worry and stress level but they only work to a point. Almost like my productivity and sanity are made better with one level of stress, i go in to survival mode when another level is reached, and when i exceed the last marker I just lose it.

Luckily I know what to do when I lose it, sleep and refocus on God, and in a few hours I am back to survival mode or my optimal stress level. But it takes a few hours.

So this week:

- NSO, awesome time, but for Vision Team and SGLs it is sooooo busy
- Cancellation of an NSO event due to rain, that kinda bugged me, but that was not in our control
- With classes starting I have been in survival mode (I get really task oriented) and have not been having good interaction with my friends
- Part of the previous point conversations like this (this is mostly with just a few of my close friends but has happened with others too)

Me: "Hey, can you do this for X event."
Friend: "Sure, blah blah blah."
Me: "Awesome, blah blah details blah"
Friend: "Ok, I'll take care of it."
Me: "Thanks... .... .... .... Um, how is..... ..... ..... bye."

- Trying to balance my position trying to push and care for the other leaders and still being thier friend, not being "power hungry" or "lecturing" but still Allen

As a friend said in a text conversation earlier Friday "It seems like just when I start to get ahead or on track something else pops up" (horribly paraphrased, sorry)

Oh boy.... I had no idea how true that would be in my life.

Friday night: projector issues occurred during our first 180, which as an old AV guy, I take personally a bit, then we had a huge party in my apartment complex that went awesomely, likely 1/3 to 1/2 of the people were new.... but

On my way back I got a call that my parents were stuck in WVA, thier car broke down. We are talking for good. They wanted to see if i could get them to a hotel and a rental car.

I am in the middle of hosting an event, our projector (the NEW projector) is acting up, I am in charge of an event in the morning, and there is a Football game later in the afternoon.

AHHHHHHH.

I get my roommate and a friend to act as host. And annother Vision Team member cover for me in the morning. Then plans changed and I was leaving in the morning. So instead of continuing to be in the party I tried to go to bed with Rock Band going in the other room. Which wouldn't be a problem but I was thinking to hard. And texting people, the guy who was coving for me I was sending him what I had to do, one guy offered to come and I was talking to him about staying, my family was sending me info about where they were, and one person was talking to me about SGL stuff, kinda, that conversation was the worse for me just over talking and analizing.

The drive itself was awesome, I needed the time alone. It was good to talk and sort through life with myself and God for a few hours.

I get back and I thought that we would be set up to watch the game. No, the guy doing that is at my doorstep 30 min before kick off. lots of mis-communication caused that. Then the room we got that I was under the impression got cable, didn't so I am on my way to watch the game, and we invited freshmen and we got nothing.

I went from feeling good to just not wanting to show up and deal with anything.

If anything the last 48 Hours are just another reminder that this is God's thing not mine. Cause now, at the end of the day all is good. We had good freshman turn out to many events, my parents are in a rental car and where they were trying to get. I still have my sanity and my faith.

My friends have more grace for me than I will ever deserve. Thanks.

To my roommate and friend: Thanks for covering the party last night that was good to have off my plate. Thanks for your support.

To the guy that offered to come with me: Thanks, I know in the end I kinda blew you off, but it meant a lot to me that you made the offer and were serious about it.

To the guy that covered for me: Thanks bro, it was nice to not have to worry about that.

To the others who saw/ heard/ or read my worry and just over thinking last night: Thank you so much for your friendship, it means a lot. And thank you for your grace for me when I am in survival mode or fully freaking out. I have not and will not ever earn that consideration, I thank God he blessed me with such awesome people to lean on and to talk to when I need to get my thoughts and worries out.

I can't live this life alone.... but God has surrounded me with people who help me every day to make it through.

Thanks.

NSO Crazyness

So I have had a pretty crazy few days, but that is to come. I feel the first post in a month should be glorifying to God... then I can share the complaints.

Here are some of the crazy things that have happened in this years NSO (New Student Outreach)

- One SG has about 40 people legitimately interested in a dorm that we have struggled to have any intrest from since before my time.

- One Leader was approached at one of our events by about 10 girls that basically said "Hi, we are from dorm X, we are Christians and we want a Small Group." I mean how many times do you hear of a small group in search of a Small Group Leader????

- 2 guys in our chapter were having a debate about relationships, how they progress and such from my understanding, and it went from 2 guys to like half the hall (our students and new ones) drawing diagrams (we are an engineering school) and such and them then coming out and freshmen asking if they can go to the SG of the leader that was involved in starting the discussion.

- While manning the card station at our "Ice Cream Bash" where people would turn in contact cards, I was asking people to turn in cards and hyping the drawing for an itunes gift card. several girls said to me "We don't need a Small Group we are in Susan's." WHO HAS OWNERSHIP IN A SMALL GROUP BEFORE THE FIRST MEETING!?!?!?!?! (Fairly sure it is God not the SGLs effort herself)

- On of the SGLs who I know well, we were in the same SG last year and she is continuing that SG this year, was talking to a freshman guy with several other people. Due to an odd turn of events (a balloon getting stuck in a tree, which I ended up not helping with afterall) I came over and met this guy. We walked him back to his dorm, and went were hanging out at my place that night. I go to class the next day and as I am leacing my last class of the day I look up and it is the guy from the night before. We ended up getting lunch later that week, he is a pretty awesome guy.

- One SGL added a guy on facebook this summer to welcome him to VT.... later he found they are living on the same hall.

- Several SGs helped people move in to dorms (well all did) but several meet multiple people who later came out to events showing interest in IV

- One SGL commented on how everything he did last year in his dorm to meet and care for guys felt like an uphill battle, but this year almost like people were falling into thier laps to care for.

I mean there is something to be said for good planning cause most of our events have been much smoother than ever before, but most of these things are totally God things.

And when you are completely task oriented trying to make these events happen it is nice to see that God is honoring your time, and working so much more than you ever could.

Thanks God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!