Thank You Mere Christianity Journal

So for Christmas (either this last one or the one before) my parents got my brothers and I a hard copy of Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and a companion journal.

I graciously accepted but since I have a copy of Mere Christianity and I usually find these guided journals worthless I was not that interested.

As many of you know my relationship with God has been difficult lately. Not that He is not still good, but through recent circumstances I have let my life fall apart in some ways.

My confidence is still returning, my excitement for life is coming back and my relationship with God is improving (I feel closer to Him and my mindset is increasing on Him), but I still feel less than I was just over a year ago.

So since I do not have regular accountability or discipleship I finally decided to crack open this journal thing and reread Mere Christianity.

Maybe the guiding will be an adequate replacement for discipleship at least to start me back on the path to closeness with God.

It has been interesting, not nearly as useless as I originally thought.

Yesterday I came across a question that hit something I am not sure I have ever quite accepted about God.

The chapter was on faith, the discussion question?

If you feel loved and secure in a relationship, do you try and earn the other person's love? Or do you do loving things for that person simply because you know you are loved? How does this translate into a relationship with God?

At first this was an easy question. No I do not try to earn the love of someone that I feel loves me in a secure relationship. That seems dumb, like going back to your employer after you have cashed you check and trying to earn the money in your hand.

IT IS YOURS!!!

In business you start earning the next check. In a relationship you love the other person. My understanding of what a marriage can be and what I think several of my closer friendships are is a focus on the other person.

You do not have to ensure you are loved or treated a certain way... the other person ensures that. You just love the other person.

Nothing new here, it is a great ideal to have in mind.

Wait, what was that third question?

How does this translate into a relationship with God?

Oh, wait...

I know God loves me and has accepted me as his child through Jesus.

What relationship is more secure than that?

But I keep feeling like I have to re-earn his love when I fail, or do the right thing to keep it.

So I keep coming to God asking for his love, asking him if I still have it.

That must get old. I mean imagine if a friend, significant other, or family member kept asking if their choices maintained your love. Or how they could re-earn your love when they did something stupid.

Where is the trust and love for you in a relationship like that?

I think it is lacking.

Is that really what I have been doing to God this whole time?

Can this life really be as simple as trusting and loving Him because he loves me?

If this seems obvious to you, then awesome. If not, consider if you were doing what I was doing.

I think God has a better life for us. I know he does.